From Water Polo Planet
With special thanks to our friends Down Under...
You know you are water polo player when:
-you smell like chlorine 24 7 even after taking showers
-you rarely shower at home
-you are used to doing homework in the car
-you make more gay jokes than you should
-you aren't repulsed by speedos, you actually like them and
find them more convenient than those baggy trunks some
people wear
-you are not disturbed by the thought of deck changing and
you think it's an efficient way to save some time
-you are constantly annoyed by people who think waterpolo
is just volleyball in a shallow pool
-you have scratches all over your body, and simply shrugg
when people ask you what happened, because you want to
avoid the whole "how is volleyball dangerous?!" scenario
-if you are a girl, you have red marks all over your neck
and are usually tutted by some teachers at school if you
happen to wear a tank top
-you aren't always aware that you're bleeding or bruised
-you secretly like the smell of chlorine
-you think waterpolo players are more attractive than other
people
-it is normal to get home later than 11pm, and your friends
are always jealous of your curfew, but you are too tired to
explain to them that you're not out partying, you're at the
pool
-you prefer swimming in pools over oceans
-your summer hangout is the pool
-you have terrible bathingsuit tan during the summer
-you will never be caught at a puplic swim
-you resepct swimmers less than other people
-you dont think waterpolo hats are funny looking
-your breaststroke has gotten considerably worse and as
frustrated as your summer swim coaches get, there is no
hope for your backstroke
-your muscles hurt after a few days of not being in the
water, especially your shoulders and knees
-you are extremely un-flexible
-when you lick yourself you taste like chlorine:)
-you get cap tans in the summer
-you get to know the lifeguards who give out ice pretty
well
-you diss synchro people regularly
-you get kicked out of hotels for horsing around
-you have been touched in places that normal people
shouldn't touch
-you are at the pool more often than at home
-one arm is bigger than the other
-Your eyes are bloodshot from the chlorine and when you go
to school, people constantly ask you, "Are you high?"
-You find yourself drawing out "man-ups" on a page in your
math book when your supposed to be paying
attention..sometimes you even try to explain it to someone.
-when you say you play waterpolo and someone even mentions
horses, you get seriously angry and want to injure someone
-you find yourself explaining to people what the game is
really about and why you have so many cut's briuses and
choke marks, but usually they just stare at you in awe,
probably thinking that they will think twice before playing
volleyball in the pool
-you think underwater hockey players are the lowest form of
life amd look for any opportunity to get in a fight with
one
-this only applies for girls but...
people who ask if you wear bikinis... you try to explain that
a bikini would only get ripped off then when they give you
demented looks, you laugh because the idea seems funny to
you
you thought practice was long only to find out that the
'team talk' afterward is even longer than the actual
practice
- you give a good, firm handshake to every opponent after a
game and are appauled when playing another organized sport,
that your opponents only slap your hand after the game
- giving wedgies to teammates on the pool deck will never
get old.
- you perfectly understand everyone with a heavy,
eastern-european accent because you've had to adapt to what
your coach says, who indeed has a heavy, eastern-european
accent
-you've probably gotten more kickouts then you should but
secretly don't regret any of them because hey, that bitch
deserved it
-you're 'slippery when wet' and you 'do it in the deep end'
- you know the reason why an hour before games you and your
teamates lather yourselves with lotion :) ( its to be
slippery in the water incase no one got it..lol)
-butterfly is not a stroke, IT IS A PUNISHMENT
-you think going to training is more important than going
to school.
-you hear "hahaha dont the horses drown?" and (when playing
nubes) "ow your holding me!! why are u grabbing me?!"
frequently
-whenever a new person comes to your team wearing a long
bathing suit, you point, laugh, and show no mercy
-victoria rules/no rules will always have a special place
in your heart.. especially when there are swimmers involved
-complete strangers may 'know' your body better than a
non-waterpolo playing boyfriend/girlfriend
-you are a little too used to seeing rainbows around lights
and cloudy vision
-when wearing two suits feels normal. And one just doesn't
feel like it will hold.
-when you have seen your coach in a speedo and no one
pressed charges
-When you say to someone "I play waterpolo...yeah its just
like polo except we put the horses in the water" Then
watching them think it over until you can't help but laugh
at them.
-when one messes up, everyone suffers.
-when you get your suit pulled off and end up flashing
everyone on the pool deck so much that it no longer phases
you
-nothing compares to how potentially lazy you can be
- Being determined to ruin the new TJ on tour twice as bad
as when you were there.
- Getting changed in the mini bus and running straight into
the pool ready changed because your late for the match you
have to drive 3 hours from home for.
-when you sweat during gym class, everyone starts comenting
on how all of a sudden the entire gym smells like chlorine
-guys: you dont feel as bad as you used to when it comes on
beating up girls .... but girls: you no longer feel bad
about sacking guys who are wiling to beat you up.
-when people dont understand that saturdays are not
available...yes, tournaments actually last 18 hours
-for girls; you know you play waterpolo when you dont have
anymore hair at the back of your head :) ( its always
pulled off from the zipper)
-guys: you refer to your costume as a turbo, not a speedo.
-you recognize your friends better when they are half
naked, and think they are better looking than when they
have clothes on.
-when you don't even bother to see a physio anymore when
you dislocate your shoulder
-you have tons of friends from all over the country just
from tournaments
- catching or holding a ball with two hands feels awkward
-when you have become so desensitized to being kicked and
punched that you laugh at people (non-polo players) who
actually think they're tough
-you can eat enough food to feed a small orphanage
- there isnt a limit to just how high you are supposed to
raise yourself out of the water
-for married men- You know your a real waterpolo player
when your wife only complains when you haven't got scratch
marks all over your back!
